


A Wolf Among Nekos

by slippyxslappy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Aobajousai, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Depression, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fukuroudani, Gay, Gay Panic, Karasuno, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Nekoma, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Shiratorizawa, Social Anxiety, Volleyball, Volleyball Dorks in Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29404341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slippyxslappy/pseuds/slippyxslappy
Summary: •Traumatised••Abused••Run Away•After losing his father, Shen Hikaru is abused by his own mother and is forced to become the best volleyball player in England.In the International Final; England VS Germany, he missed a receive and was humiliated. He took the worst beating of his life that night and decided he'd had enough and runs away.He arrived in Tokyo within the next day or so and changed his appearance before signing up at his new school Nekoma.This is where his story begins.Follow 16-year-old Shen Hikaru and read as he struggles to find the needed trust within his new teammates. Help me structure his story!
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Tsukishima Kei, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Yaku Morisuke, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Terushima Yuuji/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 6





	1. Prologue

"It's the second set of the England V.S. Germany and Germany are at match point! Who will win? Will Germany take the finals right here and now or will England strike back?"  
The English team concentrated on the volleyball as they participated in the longest rally yet. The tension grew as Germany suddenly pulled out a trick that no one had seen before. Their No.3 (Ace) went to spike the ball, but this time with their left hand. The ball hurtled towards the raven-haired libero, No.5.  
'I can do this' he thought, but as soon as the ball touched his wrists he knew it was over and the ball rebounded and hit the railings of the stands above.  
'We Lost'  
\------------  
As I arrived back home, I expected the worst. I placed down my bag and approached my fuming 'mother'. She raised her fist as she spoke.  
"I can't believe someone like you is part of the Shen family."  
That was all I heard before a black veil of darkness welcomed me.  
\-------------  
I woke up and felt the warm trickle of blood flow down my body from many areas.  
'I've had enough.'  
I limped to my room to up and treat my recent wounds, barely sparing them a glance, before packing my bags for a swift departure.  
It took me about half an hour to get rest and now all I have to go do is make sure 'she's' sleeping. I crept, silently, down the hallway to a lone white door, 'her' room. I pressed my ear against the cool surface and listened carefully. The soft snores coming from the room were music to my ears as I headed back to my room.  
Picking up my small gym bag, I opened my window and hopped out. I was free. I plugged my headphones into my phone and started listening to my beloved piano music. With everything now in order, I ran towards the nearest airport, trying to ignore the pain from the beating, to catch a plane to a country I've always wanted to visit, Japan.  
The journey was terrible. I got so many stares. It was great. Finally landing, I have resided in a small apartment in Tokyo. It was about mid-afternoon and I was out wandering the city, looking for a hairdresser to get a different look.  
A few hours later I came to my new home with black hair in a slightly shorter style than what I was used to. I was in love with it. As I re-wrapped my bandages, I got to have a look at my wounds. Most of them weren't too bad, just the normal but the last one was on my lower stomach. In between many pale pink scars was a deep wound of lines connecting to each other making the distinctive kanji of 'Migurūshi' or 'unsightly'. 'Worthless'. I sighed and covered it in fresh bandages, lying down on my single bed, I slowly succumbed to sleep.  
Waking once again, the time read to be 6 a.m. I did my morning routine and dressed in my new high school uniform that I picked up yesterday. Today was going to be just great (note my sarcasm).  
Walking to my new school, I hummed along to my favourite piano composition 'Dead Leaves'. The walk was about ten minutes and I saw the sign 'Nekoma High' on the wall.  
'Well here goes nothing.' I thought.  
Let's just say I was very awkward starting a few weeks into the semester. People constantly stared at me, well mainly girls but still.  
'It's probably because you're new, you idiot.' I told myself.  
I silently walked through the halls and eventually found the faculty office to collect my schedule.  
'Year 2, Class 4... huh.'  
I once again walked down the halls to find my form room, trying to ignore all of the wolf whistles coming my way.  
Eventually finding the right classroom, I sat down in the back corner, next to the window. No one was in the class yet so feeling the overcoming drowsiness, I rested my head upon my arms and took a power nap. My music lulled me to sleep, meaning I didn't quite hear the slight chuckle coming from the doorway.


	2. Chapter One

"Hey, you need to wake up." I could feel a hand being gently placed onto my shoulder and lightly shake me.

I grumbled a few words of English before opening my eyes to see the soul of who woke me. She was, well, female and was reasonably tall, maybe 5'7". She wasn't tan but neither was she pale and had long blonde hair that was slightly wavy and reached her lower back. She had a small button nose and thin but plump lips. Her cheeks and nose were tinted pink with a slight blush and set of think-rimmed, black glasses cover her eyes. Her eyes. Her eyes were gorgeous both were a deep blue but each had small patches of greens and browns that made them almost look like mini Earths. I noticed that she had tilted her head slightly to the floor.

'Dammit, I was staring.'

I started to apologize but she brushed it off and returned to her seat just as the teacher walked in. The teacher was male and had short black hair with rectangular glasses. He seemed 'OK' as he smiled at the class and gathered a few papers from his desk before returning to the blackboard in the front.

"Ohayo, everyone. Today we are being joined by a transfer student. Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?" his gaze was directed towards me in a way I was all too familiar with. The look of when someone is asking a question but actually means it as a statement.

I inwardly sighed, wishing I really didn't have to do this, and stood up.

"My name's Hikaru Shen. I'm 16-years-old and yes I skipped a year. I play volleyball and I like to read, draw, and listen to music." I smiled very minimally to the class and sat back down and let them murmur to themselves about me.

"Arigato, Shen-san. Please call me Kohana-sensei."

Kohana-sensei turned around and grabbed a piece of chalk before writing a few things onto the board.

The lesson had started.

The morning was pretty boring and everything was reasonably easy, well, apart from Japanese history but that's okay. I managed to get away with minimal talking so far and I'm glad we didn't have to switch from classroom to classroom as we did in England. The bell for lunch had just gone and I could see a few people taking out Bentos from their bags and starting to eat with a few people around them and then a few left the classroom. Being a curious being I headed out of the classroom with my bag and wandered about to explore the campus of sorts. Thankfully, the halls weren't as busy as I was expecting them to be so I managed to get outside with very little difficulty.

The school grounds seemed really nice. There were plenty of areas to sit, a small garden around the back of the building, there was a library, a track and field area, and a couple of gymnasiums. Me being who I am headed straight to the gymnasiums and had a small look around. They seemed nice: a load of space, clean floors, polished equipment, the good stuff. I really wanted to just go in there and play but I knew it would be rude to do so.

In the end, I ended up sitting around the back of gymnasium one and ate my lunch whilst listening to the squeak of shoes on the laminated floor and the slams of the ball rebounding off of arms, walls and floors.


	3. Chapter Two

Classes resumed after lunch and soon enough it was the end of the day. I grabbed my bag and headed towards the gym with an application form in hand. The squeaks and slams could be heard once more as I came to the open gym doors. I stopped for a moment and looked at my large black T-shirt and black volleyball shorts before taking a step into the gym.  
They were doing receives at the moment and what looked to be their coach was standing on some sort of stage or podium and was spiking down balls for the player to receive. A tall - probably 188cm or 6'2" - male with a bedhead of black hair, hazel brown eyes one being covered by a messy side fringe. He was lean but muscular and by the way, he solidly received the balls that came his way you could tell that he was experienced.  
"That's five!" Shouted their coach, "Next Lev!"  
'Lev' was tall. Very tall - around 6'4" or 194cm. He had neatly parted silver hair and slanted green eyes. He was lanky and seemed to have little muscle and his receives were weak, none of them going back to their coach.  
I chuckled to myself thinking that no one would hear me but someone did.  
"Excuse me, is everything alright?" An elderly man with short grey hair and a large smile asked.  
I sucked in a short breath of air and nodded shortly after. He was taller than me which wasn't much of an accomplishment at my height of 155cm or 5'1". I saw his gaze avert to the form in my right hand and nodded towards it so I held out my somewhat shaky hand and passed it over to him.  
"Position?" He asked.  
"Libero." I kept my head down and started fiddling with my fingers.  
"I'm one of the coaches of the Nekoma Boys Volleyball Team, Nekomata Yasufumi."  
"Shen Hikaru 2nd Year, Class 4."  
He seemed a bit surprised with the part about me being a 2nd year but I explained that I skipped a year academically. He simply nodded and called out.  
"Gather up!"  
The boys ran over and formed a semi-circle in front of myself, Nekomata-sensei, and the other coach.  
"This here is Shen Hikaru," Nekomata pushed me forward slightly with his hand and I bowed in greeting, "he is going to be your new teammate so treat him nicely."  
"Hey, I'm Kuroo Tetsuro; 3rd Year - Class 5; Captain and middle blocker. Welcome to the team . . . kitten." The boy who I saw earlier with the solid receives introduced himself first with a smug grin on his face when he called me 'kitten'.  
"Kai Nobuyuki; 3rd Year - Class 4; Vice-Captain and wing spiker." A 5'9" male with a jet black buzzcut, thick eyebrows, thick-ish lips and steel grey eyes.  
"Yaku Morisuke; 3rd Year - Class 5; Libero. We'll look after you here." He was small but taller than me standing at 5'4" and had a mop of blond hair and a pair of brown eyes. The smile he gave me reminded me of a smile that my mother once gave me.  
"Yamamoto Taketora; 2nd Year - Class 1; Ace." This delinquent stood at 5'10" and he had a buzzcut that led to a bleach-blond mohawk.  
"Kozume Kenma; 2nd Year - Class 3; Setter." 5'6" with dyed blond hair and black roots making it look like a pudding and his golden eyes stood out like all of the members. They all looked like cats.  
"Fukunaga Shohei; 2nd Year - Class 2; wing spiker." He had ashy black hair and small eyes with cat-like features and a triangular face. He was around 5'10".  
"Inuoka So; 1st Year - Class 1; middle blocker. Can't wait to play with you!" He was tall! 6'1" if I can guess right. He had brown hair that spiked up but it wasn't as bad as Kuroo-senpai's and he had brown eyes.  
"Haiba Lev; 1st Year - Class 3; middle blocker. How tall are you?!" Okay, this man is HUGE! 6'4" is way too tall. Earlier he looked shorter as he was squatting to receive but still.  
"Shibayama Yuki; 1st Year - Class 4; libero." He was a similar height to Yaku-senpai at 5'4" and had parted black hair and onyx eyes.  
They seemed to stare me down after their introductions so I hesitantly looked up to introduce myself.  
"Shen Hikaru; 2nd Year - Class 4; libero." That was my 15 seconds of courage and my voice turned into a mere whisper and I carried on, "Also Lev-kun I'm 5'1"  
A series of 'Aweees' and 'How cute's were going around until Kuroo-senpai spoke up looking slightly confused.  
"Wait you can't be a second year with that innocent look, kitten."  
The others seemed to agree with him and they looked at me for an answer.  
"Well, yes and no," I said just loud enough for them to hear, "Technically I am a 1st Year but I ended up skipping a year."  
They seemed to like the answer and waited for one of the coaches to send them back to practice.  
"Alright back to practice!" Coach Naoi shouted.  
I turned to Nekomata-sensei, "Coach, could I observe this practice and get an idea of where everyone is playing at?"  
He looked at me strangely but nodded none the less so I grabbed a spare notebook and pen from my bag and sat down on the sidelines and started taking notes.  
I had just finished the 3rd Year's statistics when they decided to take a break from a three on three that was commencing so the other six and had a set.  
"What are you doing here, kitten?"  
"Just writing down some notes senpai," I told him and looked briefly into his uncovered eye.  
"Hmmm."  
Kuroo Tetsurou:  
Power: 3/5  
Jumping: 2/5  
Stamina: 3/5  
Game Sense: 4/5  
Technique: 4/5  
Speed: 4/5  
Kai Nobuyuki:  
Power: 3/5  
Jumping: 2/5  
Stamina: 3/5  
Game Sense: 4/5  
Technique: 4/5  
Speed: 3/5  
Yaku Morisuke:  
Power: 1/5  
Jumping: 3/5  
Stamina: 4/5  
Game Sense: 4/5  
Technique: 4/5  
Speed: 4/5  
I seemed to go into a daze after that and apparently it worried a few people as the next thing I know is that there is a hand snapping its fingers in front of my face. I blink then my eyes were wide as I let out a short shriek before curling in on myself; head in between my knees with my arms over my head. I could feel my body rock back and forth as it convulsed in short spasms. I was breathless and it seemed to be like I had just run a marathon.  
"Hey, hey. Kitten, it's just me, Kuroo." The voice I had only heard a few times was laced with worry and anxiety, "You need to calm down, okay, no one here is going to harm you in any way."  
I tried to focus but nothing seemed to work and my laboured breaths seemed to become harder and harder to take.  
"Shen-san, please we need you to relax and take a deep breath. You need to ground yourself." Yaku-senpai sounded even more worried than Kuroo-senpai did.  
I started to tap my hands against my head in a steady rhythm and tried to bring my breathing in time to those taps. It was slowly working and I could finally get a decent intake of air but it still wasn't entirely enough and the dizziness I had gained stayed. I could feel the tears start to roll as I continued to panic and strangled cries left my throat. Light, warm touch. Someone had wrapped their arms around me. My mind wanted to panic and push it away but my heart wanted to relax and have more.  
I decided to lean into the warmth and try to relax and allowed my breathing to match the person's heartbeat. I closed my eyes and ended up drifting off in the warmth that enveloped me.


	4. Chapter Three

It's so warm. I cuddled up to that warmth and I could feel a set of fingers run through my hair. The feeling was comforting in a way I hadn't felt before or at least in a very long time.  
Okay, hold on. Backtrack for a moment. Fingers! I shot my eyes open and stared into hazel ones before leaping out of the arms that were wrapped around my body.  
"Forget that ever happened, okay!?" I gritted my teeth and stared at the floor with fists clenched.  
"We can't just forget what happened! You scared us half to death with that panic attack." Kuroo. He was the one holding me and that must mean Yaku-senpai is here too.  
"Shen-san are you okay?" There's Yaku with that motherly tone in his voice.  
"I'm fine!" I forced out as the tears brimmed my eyes.  
I turned around and grabbed my bag that was coincidentally by the door alongside my notebook and stormed out of the club room - or that's what I assumed it to be. I roughly wiped at my eyes to get rid of the tears and ran all the way home.  
As soon as I got home, I took a very brief shower and slept not bothering to eat. That was a rough night of barely any sleep.  
\-------------  
I woke up not too bothered with the lack of sleep having been used to it. It was about five in the morning and I had morning practise at six. I quickly showered and changed into a large white tee-shirt and a pair of black loose shorts. I grabbed a roll of bandages that I kept in a drawer and wrapped them around my arms - wrist to the middle bicep - and my legs - mid-thigh to knees. I ran out of my room and into the kitchen grabbing an apple to eat on the way and slung my bag over my shoulder. I ran out of the house not forgetting to lock the door and took a bite out of my apple as I jogged to school.  
I reached the school's campus at five-forty-five am and sat down outside of the gym to wait for the other members to arrive with the gym key. I brought out my notebook and pen starting to fill out the 2nd year stats.  
Yamamoto Taketora:  
Power: 5/5  
Jumping: 3/5  
Stamina: 4/5  
Game Sense: 1/5  
Technique: 3/5  
Speed: 2/5  
Kozume Kenma:  
Power: 1/5  
Jumping: 2/5  
Stamina: 2/5  
Game Sense: 5/5  
Technique: 5/5  
Speed: 3/5  
Fukunaga Shohei:  
Power: 3/5  
Jumping: 3/5  
Stamina: 3/5  
Game Sense: 4/5  
Technique: 4/5  
Speed: 3/5  
"Shen-san, ohayo!" I look up from my writing and I see one of the first years running up to me with a key in hand.  
"Ohayo," I reply quietly, slightly embarrassed that I can't remember his name.  
He, the energetic blond/brunette runs past me and fiddles with the lock before flinging the door open. I pack up my bag and follow him silently changing to my volleyball shoes and entering the gym.  
"If you can't remember, I'm Inuoka So. Middle Blocker!" I watch as he rushes around the gym and feel slightly relieved now knowing his name.  
I see him exit the storage trying to drag one of the poles for the net. Keyword 'trying'. I put my bag down and jog over to help him set up the net and bring out a basket of volleyballs, being able to bring up a very small conversation with him.  
"Why didn't you join the club at the start of the year, Shen-san?"Inuoka paused his warm up to look at me.  
I sigh and look back at him, "I joined late."  
"How come?" He had managed to make his way in front of me and had sat down cross-legged.  
"I transferred from England," I mumbled but he managed to hear anyway and his eyes shone with excitement.  
"Sugoi!" We left it at that and went back to our warmups soon being joined by the rest of the team and coaches.  
\---------------  
For the entire practice, I felt eyes staring at me bearing down on my soul. We didn't do too much just a few drills before we had to pack up, change and head to our classes.  
Today's lessons went by pretty quickly and soon enough we were back in the club room changing into our practice clothes. I was down to my shorts with a bare chest and my bandages in hand. I had my back to the rest of the team as I started wrapping my legs.  
"Shen-san, why are you wearing bandages?" Yaku-senpai was now beside me with his curious and motherly look.  
I carried on wrapping my legs and then moved onto my arms as I answered him, "It gives some extra support and it's a habit I've had for a while now."  
He didn't pry anymore and left with another third year, Kai-senpai. I slipped my tee-shirt over my head and let it fall over my skin, stretching out my tense muscles. I left the room and walked to the gym with my gear in hand.  
We were lined up in front of Coach Nekomata waiting for instructions. Just having finished our warmups, my body was warm and alert.  
"We're going to have small 3-on-3s so we can get to know and see what Shen-san can do," He glanced at me and smiled, "The teams will be Kuroo, Kozume and Yaku vs Teshiro, Yamamoto and Shen. The rest of you I want you to watch for now."  
We nodded and got into positions. I felt shaky with the memories of my last match putting me down and doubting myself. Kenma was serving first. I knew it would be an easy pick-up but with his intelligence, we wouldn't know where he would put it. The whistle blew and the ball was heading my way arcing over the net well. I moved my feet under the ball and cleanly received it to Teshiro, who set it to Yamamoto. Yamamoto was going in for a full swing when I realised Kuroo was already there and jumping to block a smirk on his face. I started to run as Yamamoto had hit the ball with no remorse and watching it fly back. I pushed myself and dove for the ball sliding my hand flat under it and receiving it.  
"Again!" I shouted and hurried back onto my feet to get into a better position.  
Yamamoto nodded and scored a point this time, being able to get around Kuroo's block and into a place where Yaku wasn't in a range to receive.  
We lost that match 20:25 to them but it was expected as we had barely played together to understand what everyone else was thinking. We then did a bunch of drills for the next few hours before starting to pack up.  
"Next week is the training camp with the other schools so please get your consent forms in by Friday," Nekomata informed.  
That was the day concluded.


	5. Chapter Four

It had been a week and now it was four in the morning and the entire team was standing outside the bus half asleep. I yawned and snuggled into my large red hoodie, using the overly long sleeves to rub my eyes to get rid of some sleep. I flinched as I felt a hand come in contact with my shoulder and I tensed as it stayed there. I felt my heart race and breathing quicken. My chest tightened and my lungs clenched.  
"Fuck." The hand quickly retracted from my shoulder and I brought my hands to my head to try and calm the pounding of blood flow.  
A few more words were said that were inaudible to me and a dark shadow covered my small form. A pair of arms wrapped around my waist and held me to their chest letting me hear the juxtaposing steady heartbeat compared to my own. It calmed me somewhat but I was worn out and I wobbled as I pulled away from the warm, comforting person. Kuroo. His amber eyes gazed in worry at me and I smiled very slightly as a small thanks. Slowly but surely we managed to get on the bus but not without the confused and worried looks from the other team members along with the knowing look from Yaku-senpai. I went and sat near the front while Kuroo moved to sit next to Kenma-san. That was it, as soon as I sat down we were off and I was out like a light.  
"Should we wake him up?" a muffled voice coming from Lev.  
"No, leave him to me and I'll take him to the room we'll be staying." Kuroo's voice was closer and more audible than Lev's but before I knew it there was a thin layer of warmth over me as I was lifted into someone's arms.  
I knew it was Kuroo but in the half-asleep state I was in, I couldn't care less and rested my head on his chest before falling into slumber again.  
Dark inky blackness. A void where there was no up, down, left or right. It was nothing. That's where my conscious seems to be in this never-ending dreamland.  
"Trust them." An indescribable voice came from all around me.  
"Trust who?" I questioned and voiced my thoughts, "Who should I trust?"  
"Trust them." It said again and then I woke up.  
I was placed in a futon in what seemed like a classroom. It was pretty spacious with a wall of windows with bags and futons placed underneath. This is where I assumed we'd be staying at. I stood up and neatly rolled up my futon placing it alongside the others and searched for my bag. I grabbed a plain black t-shirt and a pair of red shorts before walking out the door and going hunting for my team.  
I had been walking for about five minutes when I reached the doors of gymnasium one. The loud squeaks, bangs and shouts from the volleyball players told me that they were here. I slid open the doors and switched to my volleyball trainers. Slipping in quietly, I made my way to the team who seemed to be on their time out. I stood next to Yaku-senpai and listened to what coach was saying.  
"These teams come from all over the region and as we know they are all powerhouse schools and with Karasuno's freak duo and their limelight performance against Aoba Johsai, I think they will be a powerhouse once more. We must conquer them and win. Observe their plays and get used to them."  
Only when Coach Nekomata finished speaking, did people start to realise I was awake and standing with them.  
"Ah, Hikaru do you feel better?" Yaku-senpai turned to me.  
I nodded and said a brief 'thank you' while bowing to my teammates.  
"It's all good, kitten, just relax and focus on the game alright." Kuroo came up to me and ruffled my hair, making me have to fix the mess he had made as he smiled down at me.  
They went back to their game and me and those who weren't playing stood to the side. I took this time to look at all the other teams. Everyone seemed so tall! Well apart from two short males that seemed to be just a little taller than me. I think they were from Karasuno but I wasn't too sure. One had bright ginger hair and the other was brunette with a dyed blonde streak in front. There were many interesting players here and let's just say that I was both nervous and excited to meet and play against them.


	6. Chapter Five

I ended up not playing in the practice matches today due to a headache that arose and broke every part of concentration I had. It hurt. It hurt a lot actually. For the evening meal, I had tried to escape and not eat so I could just go to bed early but nope my plan failed as soon as a certain captain of mine practically dragged me, along with Kenma-san, to the cafeteria.  
I grabbed a small bowl of rice and a pair of chopsticks before making my way to sit in a corner alone.  
"Oi, Hikaru!" I turned my head to see Kuroo-senpai waving at me from a table on the other side of the room, "Come sit with us and be sociable!"  
I cursed under my breath at his loud antics making my head hurt more than it did before as I walked towards the table he was sat at. Yaku-senpai and Kenma-san sat at the table too along with two members from Fukorodani's team. One of them had spiked up white hair with black roots that made him look like an owl and a pair of almond-shaped brown eyes. The other was more plain-looking with short, black hair, a triangular face and ash-grey eyes. They were complete opposites. I sat down in between Yaku -senpai and Kuroo-senpai while Kenma-san and the two strangers sat across from us.  
"Guys this is Hikaru and Hikaru, these are Bokuto Koutarou and Akaashi Keji," Kuroo acquainted us.  
Now I could put names to the faces of the two; the owl guy being Bokuto and the plain guy being Akaashi. With that over with, I broke my chopsticks and began to slowly eat.  
"Hey, hey, HEY! Hikaru-san, what position do you play as I didn't see you play today?" I scrunched my eyes in pain from the loud noise and looked at Bokuto-senpai.  
"Uh . . . I'm a libero and could you please quieten down a bit." I asked him politely to look back down staring at my food as my vision wavered for a second.  
While I wasn't looking, I could hear a smack and a quiet, "What was that for?" followed by a, "You're way too loud. Shut up.". I also heard the quiet chuckle from Kuroo-senpai and the clicks and taps coming from whatever gaming device Kenma was using. I could even imagine Yaku-senpai shaking his head at his friends. After that, we all started to eat again some eating faster than others (*cough cough* Bokuto *cough cough*). Idle chat started among the fours seniors and I smiled at their bonds with each other almost wishing I had something similar. If only I could let them in then maybe.  
I was about halfway through my bowl of rice when my vision faltered yet again. I brought a hand to my face covering the place the pain was coming from, willing it to go away. I winced as I placed my head on the table moving my food out of the way. I let the cold give me some sort of relief before it started again, pounding against my skull. I whimpered quietly hoping that no one heard my small cry but obviously someone did. A hand brushed my back and comfortingly rubbed circles.  
"Does your head hurt that much?" It was Yaku-senpai. He whispered in my ear making sure not to produce any loud noises. My mind seemed to forget about my past and just started to crave the caring feeling from a mother.  
I whined and nodded, "Okay, come on let's get you to bed." I felt the taller male stand up and briefly mention to Kuroo-senpai that he was taking me to bed early. I warm hand took my own and gently pulled me up. I shakily stood and followed the taller male out of the cafeteria feeling the many pairs of eyes watching us leave. I stumbled down the hallway and Yaku-senpai moved next to me so he was pretty much half dragging, half carrying me.  
Eventually, we made it to the room I had awoken in only a few hours before and Yaku-senpai sat me down while he set up a futon. I held my head in my hands with my knees bunched up to my chest. It was a safe position for me. A fresh t-shirt and shorts were placed next to me and Yaku-senpai managed to get me standing.  
"You need to get changed, alright," he just looked at me with those motherly eyes and motioned for me to get changed.  
I removed my black t-shirt, completely forgetting the scars that littered my chest from where my 'mother' abused me and replaced it with the white one that was definitely not mine. It was big and draped over my body reaching my thighs. My shorts came off next along with my socks and shoes. The new shorts were a little loose and reached just above my knees tickling my kneecaps. I wobbled over to my bag and placed my clothes in there. I straightened myself and swayed back and forth only just managing to stay upright. A pair of arms wrapped around my waist from behind and I could feel the person stood behind me shaking. Dampness came in contact with my skin and I knew that they were crying. I looked over my shoulder wearily to see Yaku-senpai sobbing into my back and it was then that I realised he had seen my scars. I hated looking at them and I could probably tell you the story of each one even though I'd rather not. Silently, I led Yaku-senpai over to the futon he had laid out for me and sat us down. I hugged him and shifted us so we were laying on the roll-out mattress. I pulled the thin covers over the two of us and let him get comfortable. The sound of our heartbeats lulled us to sleep.


	7. Chapter Six

The Nekoma team walked down the halls talking loudly about the day they had and how they were going to play the next day. They had all finished eating about half an hour ago and after helping the managers clean up they decided to head to bed.  
"Hey, Kuroo, where's Yaku-san and Hikaru-san?" The pudding-haired blond adjusted his eyes to look at his childhood best friend and captain awaiting an answer.  
"Yaku said he was taking Hikaru to bed as he didn't seem too well but I thought he would've come back to the table. Maybe they got caught up talking or Yaku decided to sleep early as well?" The older male seemed to question himself not entirely knowing the answer either.  
As they neared the door to the room they were meant to be sleeping in, what was about to be seen was not at all expected. There they were, Yaku and Hikaru, curled up into each other with their arms around each other's waists. They both seemed to have dried tear tracks on their cheeks and their hair was dishevelled. To say that the site wasn't cute would be a lie and the members that stood around the door seemed to find the scene adorable and a few even took pictures. Who knew what the pictures they took would be for; blackmail, teasing, memories? The tall captain smiled a wide and happy grin glad to see the new shy boy he had started to call 'kitten' open up a bit and make him look so vulnerable in the state he was in.  
The boys manoeuvred around the two almost silently as they changed and made futons of their own eventually falling asleep themselves listening to the nighttime insects sing their calling songs.  
\------------  
I couldn't move when I woke up. A heavy weight was laid over my waist and as I rolled over I saw the blond head of Yaku-senpai. He seemed so relaxed with slightly parted lips and closed eyes; all muscles at ease. I felt light-hearted and happy, something I don't feel too often anymore. I relished at the moment before wriggling my way out of Yaku-senpai's arms. It was a struggle as I didn't want to wake him but I managed nonetheless. I stood and stretched, popping my shoulders and spine. The satisfying 'crack' and 'pop' as the pressure released. I sighed contentedly and went to grab a towel and my shower supplies. I slipped out of the room silently and walked down the empty corridor to the showers.  
The early morning sunrise, coming through the windows, brought an orange glow to the grey walls and lit up the path to my destination. I entered the quiet showers and stripped down quickly after entering a stall. I placed my clothes to the side and hung up my towel. The water was way too hot when I turned the knob but I didn't bother to adjust the heat as I rested my head on the tiled wall, thinking about the previous night.  
"I can't believe I opened up to someone...." I managed to mumble to myself as the scorching water ran down my face and other my lips. It wasn't like I regretted telling Yaku-senpai what happened to me and honestly, I was glad he got me to a state that made me reveal my secrets to him.  
'Maybe. Just maybe I could get some help if I tell people.'  
I shook my head at the thought and quickly dismissed it, thinking it was stupid and that it would never happen. I grabbed the shampoo and lathered my dark locks and let the soapy suds wash away with the water down the drain below. I repeated the action with a conditioner and then washed my body thoroughly, being careful with some of the more tender scars that never fully healed. I turned off the hot water and stood there in the steam for a moment before drying off and slipping on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.  
I walked out of the stall with the towel around my neck as I towel tried my hair watching it curl slightly. I stared at the mirror that was hung above a few sinks and sighed, running a hand through my tousled, black hair.  
'Maybe I should dye it?'  
\------------  
It was eight am and I was sitting in the cafeteria once more with my head rested against the table's surface. An empty bowl, that was previously filled with rice, was now empty and placed adjacent to my head. I yawned, having been up for four hours already and just wanting to curl back up under a blanket. Slowly, but surely, player by player started to show up and take their seats while they ate their breakfast. The clatter of chopsticks against bowls, glass against wood and voices bouncing off the walls broke the tranquillity the room once had. I sighed for the nth time this morning and stood up making my way out of the building, no one bothering to question me. I made my way to the room and slipped on a new t-shirt, that was bigger than normal, and some volleyball shorts, that we're lying around or in somewhat in my bag. I also slid on my new arm sleeves that replaced my old bandages as they were getting a bit too old and grabbed my volleyball trainers.  
I ran out of the building complex and jogged to one of the gymnasiums on campus, sliding open the door and quickly changing my shoes over. I had started to set up the net after taking out the basket of balls and had come to a halt. I couldn't reach. Like I was way off. I can't believe I forgot I was so short. I stood there just staring at the top of the post with the net in my hands.  
"Need a hand there?" a voice asked which was soon followed by a chuckle.  
I whipped around and stared into the dark stormy eyes of Akaashi, Fukurodani's setter. I blushed slightly in embarrassment and just nodded quietly as I handed the net to him.  
He chuckled once more and finished the job that I couldn't complete.  
"Hey. HEy! HEY!!" The loud shout, that anyone could tell was the horned owl Bokuto, sounded from the doors.  
I flinched at the sound and gave a small wave and half-smile to the tall and intimidating male.  
"Would you like to do morning practice with us, Shen-san?" Akaashi's calming voice came from behind me.  
I turned and nodded, eventually being able to find my voice, "Yeah, if that's okay."  
"Of course it is Shen-san!"Bokuto-senpai shouted once more.  
Then we were warming up together sharing small words for a very minimal conversation before getting into position: myself on one side then Bokuto-senpai and Akaashi-senpai on the other.  
"You ready, Shen-san!?" I saw the owl-like male smile as he held out the ball ready to throw to pass it to his setter.  
I nodded and lowered my hips with my arms out and ready. I let my eyes scan over the court like I would do if I was in a real game to see where all the players stood. The ball had left Bokuto's hands as he was sailing in a high arc towards Akaashi. The setter's pale limbs were raised above his head and you could see his eyes trained to the ball, following it and predicting it's course. He pushed the ball upwards and it landed in his palms and its course was now soaring parallel with the net. Bokuto was running towards the net with speed and it was almost as if he stopped, before launching into the air with his back curled and his arm poised. His stored power was then unleashed as he hit the ball with deadly accuracy. I watched as the ball hurtled towards me. Closer and closer. I hopped and leapt to the right, planting myself beneath the ball and holding my arms out in a strong receive. It stung as the ball made contact with my barely covered skin and the slap resonated when it left my arms. The spun in the air and landed directly where the setter would be if we were in a match. And that was how the next half hour went. Akaashi-senpai would set, Bokuto-senpai would spike and I would receive.  
I didn't have to think, I just did.


	8. Chapter Seven

The three of us, Bokuto, Akaashi and I, were alone for about an hour or so before everyone, including the coaches, entered the gym and started pairing us up into matches. To start with we were paired up with Karasuno and my arms are already burning from their spikes and serves. Their aggressive wing spiker and gentle ace had some solid spikes and the power behind them could almost rival some of the people I played against when part of the England International Team. Then there was their setter. He was scary like really scary and his expression stayed scowling for the entire match. I think the guy's name was Kageyama and he was the only one on the team who could consistently do a jump serve. A couple others seemed to catch my eye too, like their tiny #10 who had some insane reflexes and jumping abilities that allowed him to pull off a seemingly impossible quick set.  
They burned so much. The force of the serves are ripping at the skin under these sleeves and I can feel the scar tissue tearing. You see my scars on my arms never fully healed due to the amount of volleyball I played. They would heal over time only to get torn again during intense practices. It hasn't happened since I came to Nekoma so I had thought they were healed to a point that they wouldn't tear, but I guess I was wrong.  
*Que whistle noise as I don't know how to write it in onomatopoeia*  
We won the match against Karasuno. We won two consecutive sets and they were longer than we thought they would be and now we were all exhausted. I sat against the wall with a water bottle in hand, guzzling the water. I could the fabric of the sleeves rubbing against my now opened scars and it felt horrible. It stung like hell and the friction that was being created burned. I could feel tears come to my eyes but I quickly blinked them away and stood up.  
"Where are you going, kitten, it's nearly lunch?" Kuroo called out to me when he saw me stand and start to leave.  
"I'm going to freshen up a bit. I'll meet you all in the cafeteria." I replied and left before he could say anything else.  
I made my way to the room we were staying in and rummaged through my bag looking for the spare set of bandages I took everywhere with me.  
"Kitten, are you okay?" That wasn't Kuroo, it was Yamamoto with his dyed buzz cut mohawk. After a while of Kuroo calling me kitten a few others joined in on the nickname; the main one being Yamamoto.  
I took a deep breath and turned to face the Ace of our team, "Y-yeah I'm fine. What's up?"  
He smiled and sat down next to me, "I thought I'd mention that you nicked my shirt this morning."  
I looked at him in horror as he just laughed at me, "I'm sorry it was in my bag and I assumed it was mine," I rushed out the words not really knowing what to do in the situation.  
"Hey, relax it's okay I didn't mean to worry you over it. It's just a t-shirt." He placed a hand on my arm and rubbed up and down causing me to flinch at hiss at the burning sensation, "What's wrong?" My senior looked at me worried and I watched his gaze flicker down my arm and then his eyes widened in a look of pure shock, "Hikaru you're bleeding!"  
I looked down and at the bottom of my sleeve, you could see the small trickles of blood flowing down the back of my hand. I flicked my eyes to Yamamoto and I could see him reach for me and then I was gone. I was running down the hallway and I could hear Yamamoto-senpai shouting to wait up. I just ignored him and kept going until I reached the bathroom. I sat against the closed door and took a deep breath. I didn't even bother to look around before pulling down both sleeves, hissing as I did.  
"Fuck." I breathed out as I looked at my wrecked arms. A few scars were still intact but the rest were wide open and leaking blood. Pieces of skin around the wounds were pressed up and in odd directions. It looked and felt disgusting. I slammed my head against the back of the door and realised that I had left my bandages in my bag.  
"Ummm... do you need some help?"  
I tensed and looked up to see Karasuno's first-year middle blocker. I think he was number eleven. I can remember someone screaming 'Tsukki' at him but maybe it was just a nickname. He was tall. Very tall and had blonde hair, brown eyes and a pair of black-rimmed glasses sat on his nose.  
"You know what, don't bother answering." He turned as he spoke and opened up a draw and pulled out a set of bandages and some small scissors. He also grabbed a washcloth and soaked it in some water before coming over to me.  
I didn't say anything as he came and sat in front of me carefully taking my arm in his hands. He wiped away the blood being careful of the loose skin. The washcloth was being stained red and by then I ignored the sting and burn altogether. I could feel a steady stream of tears leave my eyes and fall from my cheeks and into my lap. I kept my gaze trained on my lap and watched the tear fall and put a stain on my shorts. I could feel the tall male warp the bandages around my arm, making sure it was tight before moving onto the next.  
It didn't take too long and soon enough we were just sitting there in silence. A large hand came into my vision and lifted my chin. My blue, teary eyes met his warm brown ones and I felt his thumbs brush my cheeks as he wiped away the stray tears.  
"Hikaru, right?" He asked and I gave him a small nod in reply not trusting my voice, "I don't think you know but I'm Tsukishima Kei."  
I nodded again and kept my eyes on him as he stood up and held out a hand towards me.  
"Come one, people are going to wonder where we are."  
I took his hand and let him pull me up but I didn't expect the hug he gave me. It was brief and I didn't even have the chance to hug him back as he had already left the room and was making his way to the cafeteria.  
'That is one strange boy.' I thought before following him out.


	9. Chapter Eight

When we walked into the cafeteria no one batted an eyelash. We both managed to sit down at our respected places and start to eat as normal. The loud chatter from the teams was quite soothing today for some reason. Maybe it was comforting knowing that everything was going as it should be and there were no suspicions. Or well, from what I thought.  
The meal we had was very fulfilling and I had managed to slip into a few conversations a few team members were having, but mainly Kuroo's and Bokuto's. We had just started to walk back to the room when I felt two pairs of eyes watching me. To say that it didn't unsettle me would be a lie and I tried to ignore it by talking to Lev and Yaku.  
I was laughing. At what? I wasn't too sure myself but it must've been a joke that Lev made as Yaku was chuckling to himself too. I guess I wasn't paying attention to what was happening around me as the next thing I know there's a hand on my shoulder pulling me away from the conversation.  
"We need to talk." The all so familiar bedhead had his hand on my shoulder and was guiding me down the hall along with Yamamoto.  
I simply nodded knowing where this was going.  
He guided me to one of the bathrooms and locked the door behind us. Yamamoto stood in a corner not looking like his usual self: his smile was gone and was replaced with a frown, the look in his eyes distant and dull. Kuroo, on the other hand, stood tall in front of me with his arms crossed. He looked serious as his lips were set in a straight line and eyes looking down at me sternly. Then there was me. I felt small in Kuroo's presence and just so wanted to curl up into a ball, but I fought the urge to do so. I stood shakily as I wavered from one foot to the other. My head hung low and watched my fingers as they nervously fiddled with the hem of m-Yamamoto's shirt.  
"Yamamoto told me earlier that you were bleeding pretty badly and when he tried to help you he said that you ran away, am I getting this correct?" Our captain's voice was deeper than normal and honestly, it scared me.  
I nodded not wanting to trust my voice at that second.  
"Can you explain to me why you were bleeding, Hikaru, or at least why you ran away from help?" I froze. I didn't know what to say. I've only told Yaku about what happened to me and even then he only knows a very brief summary of it all.  
"S..sc..scars." I managed to force out the very broken word but they both seemed to understand pretty clearly of what I was trying to get to.  
Their eyes both glinted with realisation and they shared that glance that people have when they look like they're talking telepathically.  
"Why didn't you tell someone that they were opening up?" This time Yamamoto spoke. He had pushed himself off of the wall and stood in front of me with a soft look in his eyes.  
I shrugged and sank further back into the wall behind me.  
"Please tell me you at least cleaned and bandaged it up, kitten." Kuroo held the bridge of his nose as he shook his head, calming down.  
"Tsukishima helped me," I replied, finally being able to look at the two older males in front of me as the serious atmosphere died down.  
"Tsukishima? Do you mean Karasuno's four eyes middle blocker?" Yamamoto looked confused and Kuroo just looked amused at this point.  
"He was the one who found me and cleaned me up."  
"I see. Hmmm," Kuroo hummed to himself and seeing that the confrontation was over, we headed back to the room making up excuses that we all wanted a small walk to stretch off a bit after our food.  
\--------------  
The next morning, Coach Nekomata pulled me to the side during breakfast informing me he knew that I was injured and that I was to take the day off to let it heal over. I nodded and sighed in relief knowing exactly what I was to do in my free time.  
I was walking along some of the quieter streets of Tokyo, not that they really have any, and slid into a small store. I wandered around for a while trying to find what I was looking for and after a short while along with a little help from the shopkeeper, I found what I was looking for. The small box I was carrying was light and after paying for it, I headed straight back to the school to get to work.  
\----------------  
Okay, don't laugh, but I may have gotten a little lost along the way and ended having to get help from a male who looked around my age with blonde hair that was shaved along the sides and had a tongue piercing. He was really nice and helped me back onto the right street I needed to head down. After he helped me, he gave me his number along with his name. Yuuji. It was short and cute. It suited him well from the first meeting and I wonder if we'd see each other again soon.  
I got back to the school during lunch and I managed to sneak my way into a bathroom without being caught. I felt like a ninja! I giggled at the childish thought and jumped onto the sink counter with a little difficulty. I flipped the box over and smiled. I tore open the top and tipped out the contents. There was a list of instructions, a plastic and glass bottle - both held different liquids - and a pair of gloves.  
"Okay, so I have to pour the glass bottle's contents into the plastic's," I did as the instructions told me then looked back for the next step, "Next I need to shake it." I did just so.  
I was reading through the rest of the instructions and the best way to apply the dye. Yes, I'm dying my hair. I wriggled the rubbery-plastic gloves onto my hands, placing myself in front of the mirror and over a sink. I readied the bottle and started doing little sections, making sure to reach as close to the roots as possible. The only problem was the back of my head as I couldn't really see and as this is my first time dying my hair it could go any way. I closed my eyes and took a breath, trying to prepare myself for the risk I was about to take. I lowered the bottle slowly and was about to start again when . . . the bottle was no longer in my hands. It was gone.  
"You'll miss a spot if you try to do it." The calm yet slightly energetic voice came for a short male - he was taller than me, but he would be classed as being short - with dark brown, spiky hair with a blond streak in the front. This was Karasuno's libero. Noya, I think or well that's what his teammates called him so it was probably a nickname.  
I nodded and knew what he implied to do. He took over from what I was previously doing and covered the few patches I had missed. We sat and made small talk about our teammates and the small, funny moments we'd had in school, as we waited the fifteen minutes for the dye to stay in.  
I managed to just about wash all of the remnant dye out with just a little help from Noya. Yes, we have nicknames now. Then it was done. I now had my hair dyed so half of it was my natural black and the other half was a pale blue. I had to admit that I loved it!  
"It looks so cute, Ru-san!" Noya exclaimed as he jumped up and down in excitement like he'd do with his teammates a lot.  
I chuckled and turned my head away slightly, feeling the small amount of blood flowing into my cheeks. I can't believe how open I've become recently by just being around all of these guys. I smiled to myself at the thought and followed Noya out of the bathroom as he spoke animatedly about his teammates.  
"You're adorable." We halted in the hallway frozen. He looked at me with wide brown eyes and dusted pink cheeks, "Ummm. . . I-" I didn't know what to say at that point. I'd messed up and let my thoughts run off my tongue. I'm such an idiot!  
The taller boy's face changed and his lips curled up into a smile that reached both of his eyes.  
"Thank you, Ru, you're adorable too."  
"I wonder where Hikaru went off to?"  
"I knew he went out somewhere off campus but you'd think he'd be back now."  
"He'll be back soon so stop worrying."  
The three voices were coming from the corner at the end of the corridor. The shadows shifted in the light as they came closer and closer. They rounded the corner and came face to face with myself and Noya.  
"Hikaru, my child, you're back!"  
"Hikaru where the hell did you go?"  
"Please make them shut up. . ."  
I stood there frozen looking at my teammates (guess who's who even though it's pretty obvious) and I could see the realisation come to their faces as they took my appearance in.  
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!"  
"Why didn't you tell me you were dying your hair, Kitten?"  
"It suits you, Hikaru."


End file.
